Sunday, February 15, 2009


**Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:**

**We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize
that I want a divorce. I know, we tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but, sadly,
this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is
right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile,
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way.**

**Here is a model separation agreement:***

**Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult
part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate

**We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since
you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops,
the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael
Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible
for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all
three of them) .***

**We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can
have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy
CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC
and Hollywood. ***

**You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain
the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You
can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies
or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide
them security.***

**We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to
Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can
also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.**

**We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.**

**You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any
practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is
a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the
Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy
to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing,
Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.**

**We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give
trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends
you we'll keep our history, our name, and our flag.**

**Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to
other like minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if
you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly
parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose
help in 15 years.**

**Sincerely, John J. Wall***
**Law Student and an American **

**P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda ***